On the one hand, he's doing great! I MEAN LARXENE AND MARLUXIA ARE GONE. He has no ambivalent, wishy-washy feelings on this: NO, THIS SHIT IS AWESOME, OKAY. These are some of the greatest sources of terror in his life and THEY ARE GONE, THEY ARE GONE. PARTY IN HIS HOUSE, EVERYONE EXCEPT VEXEN IS INVITED!!
On the other hand, he's... actually in a KIND OF SIMILAR SITUATION TO HEAT in that he's got a REALLY DEEP CRUSH on a girl and doesn't know whether or not it's because she made his feelings and he knows SHE doesn't know whether or not it's because she made his feelings. AND someone else has a huge crush on her: Roxas. He can't compete with Roxas. Hands down, he can't, and he knows it. He can do his best but she will never not have doubts over him, while Roxas and she have an up-front and cool thing going on. And he LIKES Roxas and wants to be friends but -- it's really complicated. Especially now that Roxas is interested in Namine because he *hates* that he was making a friend and now he's trying to avoid him because ...he's jealous! And that sucks. And a little part of him he hates even more thinks it's selfish of Roxas -- not because he thinks Roxas and Axel are a great couple and not because he thinks Axel will be hurt (he doesn't care) but because Axel used the Replica and threw him away in order to protect Roxas because he loved him. The Replica is a victim of Axel's love for Roxas! So seeing Roxas go, "Eh, that's fine, but I love Namine too so I might as well pursue that" rankles on a greater level than just a jealous dumb teenage boy level.
And he doesn't know how to deal with Namine; he'd been avoiding her (and Roxas) up until the honesty post, at which point this all CAME OUT and now he... doesn't know how to deal with them worse, because he said stuff that, even if he thought it secretly, he never wanted to talk about because that's... low. And they're his own issues and he knows it. And he ALSO knows he'll never stop wondering if his love is his own feeling or just an implant that got shattered but left its shards mixed in with the shards of his heart.
He's... I won't say he has multiple personalities, but he also does, just that they're too intermingled to be distinct. He has his "self", the person he views as "him", but it's been overwritten and cracked so much that -- it's not like taking an old self, overwriting it, and then trying to figure out who he is. It's like taking an old self, overwriting it, then sticking what results into a blender until a fine and sharp-edged mush is left and then picking through THAT for only one of the items. THE RIKU REPLICA'S SENSE OF IDENTITY: WILL IT BLEND?
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Date: 2009-02-05 06:29 am (UTC)On the one hand, he's doing great! I MEAN LARXENE AND MARLUXIA ARE GONE. He has no ambivalent, wishy-washy feelings on this: NO, THIS SHIT IS AWESOME, OKAY. These are some of the greatest sources of terror in his life and THEY ARE GONE, THEY ARE GONE. PARTY IN HIS HOUSE, EVERYONE EXCEPT VEXEN IS INVITED!!
On the other hand, he's... actually in a KIND OF SIMILAR SITUATION TO HEAT in that he's got a REALLY DEEP CRUSH on a girl and doesn't know whether or not it's because she made his feelings and he knows SHE doesn't know whether or not it's because she made his feelings. AND someone else has a huge crush on her: Roxas. He can't compete with Roxas. Hands down, he can't, and he knows it. He can do his best but she will never not have doubts over him, while Roxas and she have an up-front and cool thing going on. And he LIKES Roxas and wants to be friends but -- it's really complicated. Especially now that Roxas is interested in Namine because he *hates* that he was making a friend and now he's trying to avoid him because ...he's jealous! And that sucks. And a little part of him he hates even more thinks it's selfish of Roxas -- not because he thinks Roxas and Axel are a great couple and not because he thinks Axel will be hurt (he doesn't care) but because Axel used the Replica and threw him away in order to protect Roxas because he loved him. The Replica is a victim of Axel's love for Roxas! So seeing Roxas go, "Eh, that's fine, but I love Namine too so I might as well pursue that" rankles on a greater level than just a jealous dumb teenage boy level.
And he doesn't know how to deal with Namine; he'd been avoiding her (and Roxas) up until the honesty post, at which point this all CAME OUT and now he... doesn't know how to deal with them worse, because he said stuff that, even if he thought it secretly, he never wanted to talk about because that's... low. And they're his own issues and he knows it. And he ALSO knows he'll never stop wondering if his love is his own feeling or just an implant that got shattered but left its shards mixed in with the shards of his heart.
He's... I won't say he has multiple personalities, but he also does, just that they're too intermingled to be distinct. He has his "self", the person he views as "him", but it's been overwritten and cracked so much that -- it's not like taking an old self, overwriting it, and then trying to figure out who he is. It's like taking an old self, overwriting it, then sticking what results into a blender until a fine and sharp-edged mush is left and then picking through THAT for only one of the items. THE RIKU REPLICA'S SENSE OF IDENTITY: WILL IT BLEND?
So basically he's doing okay, yeah.