Everything meme
Feb. 4th, 2009 07:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vore_crimesEverything Meme. Have at me with Relationship, First Impressions, Hot or Not, Essay, Please Ramble About This At Me, Explain Your Thoughts on Their Thoughts, You Should Jump Me, App My Canon and whatever you want to ask for.
Especially "Please Ramble About This At Me", I love that one. XD
I play: Umeda, the Riku Replica, Heat, Jinana, the Collector Manikin, Sakubo, and Sahashi Minato.
I used to play: Phibrezo, Mayura, Haruka, Mello, Cho Hakkai 1, Kubota, Hibari, Alec i Amasa, Marluxia, Lexaeus, EVA.
Especially "Please Ramble About This At Me", I love that one. XD
I play: Umeda, the Riku Replica, Heat, Jinana, the Collector Manikin, Sakubo, and Sahashi Minato.
I used to play: Phibrezo, Mayura, Haruka, Mello, Cho Hakkai 1, Kubota, Hibari, Alec i Amasa, Marluxia, Lexaeus, EVA.
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Date: 2009-02-05 03:57 am (UTC)okay
Ramble about any or all of these things at me: Heat/Sera, Heat/Serph, Heat's View Of Heat/Serph/Sera, What Heat Thinks Sera Thinks About Heat/Serph/Sera, How Is Riku Replica Doing These Days Anyway, How Did Collector Manikin Do During The Kill Game, Has Minato Been Raped Yet, Will Argilla Not Being Here Affect How Jinana Deals With Bat, Is Saku Jealous Of Sera And How Is She Dealing With That, and Is Bo Mad At Kuhn.
I'll tell you if I think of any more.
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Date: 2009-02-05 04:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-05 04:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-05 06:17 am (UTC)OKAY ONCE UPON A TIME I WROTE this essay wow like a year ago. Anyway. I'm too lazy to reread it but I'll assume it explains a lot of basic stuff even if some stuff's changed so I don't ramble for another 8000 words.
But basically:
Heat loev Sera but believe he shouldn't love Sera; he feels... intrusive a lot of times? When he's trying to... just express himself or get close, he feels more and more like he's intruding somehow. I THINK THEY ARE AWKWARD AND CUTE but my shipping is... I DON'T THINK THEY'LL EVER BE PERFECT OR LEARN TO FIT RIGHT you know? XD Heat is a big dumb lunk. Actually, I kind of want to write that for all my answers to the relationship thing: Heat. He's a big dumb lunk. End of essay.
HEAT/SERPH
Heat finds Serph... way easier in some ways than Sera. SERPH IS UNCOMPLICATED. Serph *read romance novels* because he was introduced to the idea that Heat might be interested in him and WANTED TO LEARN WHAT THAT ENTAILED OK. That's not complicated, that's just kind of dorky and stupid.
Heat's been coming to rely on Serph a lot for emotional support, and he feels lame about that -- and me as a player, I want to shake that up a bit. He does tend to go "SERRRPH I'M INSECURE ABOUT SERA LET's GO HUNTING" which is fun, but we need some awkwardness. Maybe about penises I dunno. Or I can see you guys dating and get ALL WEIRD ABOUT IT. And the thing with Kuhn is likely to shake things up. So I'm not worried but I intend to poke at it a bit, because he's getting TOO COMFORTABLE with Serph, which is great except that a lot of times his comfort is a facade covering up a lot of insecurity and weirdness, and I'm preeeeeeeetty sure it is here too.
SERPH/HEAT/SERA
Heat doesn't think it can happen, and on a lot of levels, doesn't WANT it to happen. Right now, when it's three separate groups, it's SUPER AWKWARD but at the same time, his jealousy is... a little lower. If it's right there, in his face, if he can't dodge the comparisons he'll be makeing, he'll fuck everything up and he knows it. He's... afraid. He wants to be happy with them, he wants THEM to be happy, but he is SUCH A FUCKUP. And he is just... terrified about ruining things. Not for himself; he's fine with ruining things for himself. In fact, he kind of craves it, because then it's as low as he's gonna get. But he's terrified about ruining things for them.
He also has nooo idea what Sera thinks about it. HE DOESN'T DARE GUESS. He is terrified and the answer's depressing no matter WHAT way she feels about it.
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Date: 2009-02-05 06:29 am (UTC)Sera ships Heat/Serph in a way but never talks about it. IT'S KIND OF FUNNY. And I've always been fascinated by the fact that Serph's comfort with Sera and Serph's comfort with Heat fills a lot of the same needs for them, but in such different ways.
Serph/Heat/Sera IS NOT EVEN ON THE TABLE. She has no opinion on it, she doesn't think about it. SERIOUSLY CONFRONTED WITH IT she would probably go "..........um" a lot. SHE HAS NO CLUE HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THAT, maybe Heat is wise to be terrified.
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Date: 2009-02-05 06:45 am (UTC)HAHA seriously? That's interesting.
HEAT WILL NEVER PUT IT ON THE TABLE. Cielo might, though. He did before she got to camp. :|b
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Date: 2009-02-05 06:29 am (UTC)On the one hand, he's doing great! I MEAN LARXENE AND MARLUXIA ARE GONE. He has no ambivalent, wishy-washy feelings on this: NO, THIS SHIT IS AWESOME, OKAY. These are some of the greatest sources of terror in his life and THEY ARE GONE, THEY ARE GONE. PARTY IN HIS HOUSE, EVERYONE EXCEPT VEXEN IS INVITED!!
On the other hand, he's... actually in a KIND OF SIMILAR SITUATION TO HEAT in that he's got a REALLY DEEP CRUSH on a girl and doesn't know whether or not it's because she made his feelings and he knows SHE doesn't know whether or not it's because she made his feelings. AND someone else has a huge crush on her: Roxas. He can't compete with Roxas. Hands down, he can't, and he knows it. He can do his best but she will never not have doubts over him, while Roxas and she have an up-front and cool thing going on. And he LIKES Roxas and wants to be friends but -- it's really complicated. Especially now that Roxas is interested in Namine because he *hates* that he was making a friend and now he's trying to avoid him because ...he's jealous! And that sucks. And a little part of him he hates even more thinks it's selfish of Roxas -- not because he thinks Roxas and Axel are a great couple and not because he thinks Axel will be hurt (he doesn't care) but because Axel used the Replica and threw him away in order to protect Roxas because he loved him. The Replica is a victim of Axel's love for Roxas! So seeing Roxas go, "Eh, that's fine, but I love Namine too so I might as well pursue that" rankles on a greater level than just a jealous dumb teenage boy level.
And he doesn't know how to deal with Namine; he'd been avoiding her (and Roxas) up until the honesty post, at which point this all CAME OUT and now he... doesn't know how to deal with them worse, because he said stuff that, even if he thought it secretly, he never wanted to talk about because that's... low. And they're his own issues and he knows it. And he ALSO knows he'll never stop wondering if his love is his own feeling or just an implant that got shattered but left its shards mixed in with the shards of his heart.
He's... I won't say he has multiple personalities, but he also does, just that they're too intermingled to be distinct. He has his "self", the person he views as "him", but it's been overwritten and cracked so much that -- it's not like taking an old self, overwriting it, and then trying to figure out who he is. It's like taking an old self, overwriting it, then sticking what results into a blender until a fine and sharp-edged mush is left and then picking through THAT for only one of the items. THE RIKU REPLICA'S SENSE OF IDENTITY: WILL IT BLEND?
So basically he's doing okay, yeah.
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Date: 2009-02-05 06:33 am (UTC)Maybe we should have a camp event with those blenders.
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Date: 2009-02-05 06:42 am (UTC)...we SO SHOULD.
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Date: 2009-02-05 06:40 am (UTC)Well as a player he sucked, but taht's nothing new. I mean, *I* suck at the game. I'm not ashamed to say it because I have a lot of fun anyway, but I have this mental block where I cannot figure out logical deductions when it involves mathematics. It is stupid! I dislike it. But I can look at the number of people left in a clue and someone can go "well so and so is obviously a sheep because of how the numbers work out" and TO THE END OF THE GAME I'm going "...how?" So I used to play SUPER SERIOUSLY and it was stressful and unfun, and now I just throw in characters I can have fun playing with even if I'm not a great player and it works out.
But I picked him specifically in this case because:
a) he has coping mechanisms in place for seeing people horrifically murdered in front of him because IT HAS HAPPENED TO HIM BEFORE. Everyone kills the Manikins, okay. Demons do! Humans do! OTHER MANIKINS DO, TRUFAX, THERE IS A MANIKIN WHO SERIAL-KILLS OTHER MANIKINS. He has seen so, so much death. He was one of two survivors of a certain city. He was stuck in a torture prison. HE CAN COPE.
b) He's a survivor, so even if he feels guilty, he can vote people out knowing they're going to die. He doesn't want them to die! But... he's used to being a slave to cruel people who like to torture them for shits and giggles and food, and he knows a little of how they think. He figures, either he does it or someone dies anyawy, perhaps in a worse way, and they make it clear it's his fault. Also, he knows that in the situation of the game he can only protect himself and his team, so he focussed on that to get through. It's the only bit of power any of them had -- to do their best for their own team. So he relied on it.
And it worked out exactly as I'd hoped -- especially because his teammates helped him out so much. Sasuke would vote on the kills because the Collector didn't want to be the one to kill them, and though he felt guilty for someone else doing what he couldn't, he was also relieved. Anastasia constantly cheered him up. He honestly really likes both of them after this.
So, why if he had attitude b above did he apologize to everyone?
Well, it varied by the individual. But, you know, although they did the same to him, and to others every round? He can't ask them to apologize. He can only make his own apologies for his own role in their pain. And if they accept it, he's glad, and if not -- well, he'll survive. Hurting another person isn't fun, but it won't kill him or stop him.
He's... strange because he's both very emotional and very shallow in his emotions in some ways. He was sad and hurt and scared and all of the above, but he's also bouncing back fast, like he always does. Honestly, this was one of the least traumatic events in his life -- everyone was fine after. He won't say as much to people unless it comes up specifically because he doesn't want to underwrite their feelings, but ...nothing that happened in this game has been rougher than his life to date, and he's got to a point where he can be optimistic about that, so this? Isn't so bad.
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Date: 2009-02-05 07:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-05 07:06 am (UTC)YOUR LIFE NOW SUCKS. BUT YOU'RE PRETTY OPTIMISTIC ABOUT IT ANYWAY.
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Date: 2009-02-05 06:54 am (UTC)- Only slightly in canon
- Only slightly in camp.
Both Kagari and Matsu have ended up in bed with him already though. Probably like... a few times idk. It happens a lot. Matsu is building a secret tunnel to his cabin.
WILL ARGILLA NOT BEING HERE AFFECT HOW JINANA DEALS WITH BAT
Not really, honestly. Only a little. Because... Jinana's really an honest person, and her feelings don't really change based on the presence; any hesistance or reluctance due to Argilla's feelings and/or Bat's aggression are still as much of a consideration as they were before. The only thing she'd hidden was Bat and Kuhn hooking up because she didn't feel it was her story to talk about, and even that she felt awkward not mentioning right away. So.
IS SAKU JEALOUS OF SERA AND HOW IS SHE DEALING WITH THAT
...Naaaah. maybe like for five minutes there, but she got over it. And, like, she probably has moments of OMG U HUSSY but she doesn't... really worry about it or need to cope with it. They're just part of normal moodswings. More likely to suddenly be an issue if she's down and feeling unloved, but a nonissue normally.
IS BO MAD AT KUHN
Right now, he's a bit ...peeved/sad? For a few months now, now that they're in closer proximity than online, he's feeling a bit... looked down on by Kuhn? Bo thinks that Kuhn believes he can't cope with anything, and while he can't directly argue it -- I mean, he's got Saku and everything :/ -- he ...is trying very hard to be strong. And Kuhn seems to have a strong idea of what "being a kid is" and he wants Bo to "be a kid", but he has a different view of that than Bo... wants to spend his life. So he ...wants to help and do things and be the sort of person he's trying to be, and Kuhn's been very... avoidant. Left without really saying where he was going. Got knocked into a coma and then tried to tell Bo that he just was a deep sleeper. He's not angry, but he's a bit sad and...disappointed maybe? In that he ilkes Kuhn a lot but he's getting reminded that they're not peers.
So have you thought of more? :O
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Date: 2009-02-05 07:10 am (UTC)Jinana is so badass.
SERA WOULD BE SO GLAD ICLY TO KNOW THAT she's in a spot with Saku in her head right now. :/
Poor Bo. Sera's kind of looked at him more as a peer since their last thread, I think, when she asked him how Saku was doing.
HM I DUNNO I usually just ask you this stuff in chan. Who would you playercest under the mistletoe?
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Date: 2009-02-05 07:16 am (UTC)o/
WE NEED TO THREAD Sera Sera SAKU NEEDS TO THREAD WITH YOUUUU. She misses youu. PING ME WHEN YOU HAVE HER OUT SOMEWHERE I'll jump.
That'd make him super happy :D WE STILL NEED TO SNOWBALL FIGHT SERA.
Oh man uhhhh. Umeda and Minato.
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Date: 2009-02-05 07:22 am (UTC)I am running out of things to ask you. Who would you try to top me into apping. And write the essay no one has asked for yet that you've been kind of thinking about.
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Date: 2009-02-05 07:24 am (UTC)Uhhhhhhhhhhhh I have one of those? :O
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Date: 2009-02-05 07:50 am (UTC)